Tag Archives: Resolutions

Being Beautiful

9 Jan

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I recently discovered beautyredefined.net. Perhaps some of you have already heard of this jewel, maybe I’m the last one to hear of it- this wouldn’t be the first time. I live under a rock. I read through a lot of the pieces posted to the site, specifically a brilliant article about ditching resolutions. Well not necessarily all resolutions, but any that have to do with your weight or how you look.

http://www.beautyredefined.net/ditch-weight-loss-resolutions/

After I read this article it really got me thinking. I had a lengthy conversation with my boyfriend about some of the issues brought up in the article. Women overly think of themselves as items for viewing. I know that sounds radicle and out there, but think about it. We greet each other often by commenting on how great we look, how cute our hair is, whether or not we look like we’ve lost weight, how amazing some new outfit is. More often than not we focus on our looks even when we address each other.

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I’m not a man, but I have a feeling that their encounters with each other don’t mirror those listed above. I somehow doubt they frequently comment on one another’s new haircut or tan. Here’s an example- over the holidays I got my bangs cut. It’s a big deal, completely changes how your face looks. Am I right? I’m always excited and apprehensive when I get any haircut, but especially when I take a pair of scissors to my bangs. Clearly I was a little nervous about returning to New Orleans and hearing what my friends and yes my boyfriend thought of my new do.

Well here’s exactly what happened. I spent an entire day with my boyfriend; he did not notice the haircut. When I pointed out the bangs he blamed his lack of recognition on the fact that my hair was up all day… which obviously has no effect whatsoever on my bangs. Alternatively, when I got home the next afternoon the first thing my female roommate said to me involved a comment on how cute my new bangs looked.

My point in this anecdote, which is by no means representative of all female-male interactions, is that there was a major difference. One interaction ignored appearance entirely, while the other one was almost completely focused on it.

I’ve realized that this anecdote is representative however of almost all of my interactions with my boyfriend. What’s more is I’ve noticed that I have become more relaxed about my appearance when I am around him. Alternatively, when I go to hang out with my female friends I stress more over what I’m wearing and how I look. When our conversations reflect our appearance, even in positive ways, we focus more and stress more over how we look.

So, I have made a decision. This year my only new years resolution involving my looks is that I will no longer focus on them. I am going to try my best to refrain from making any comments about my own appearance, specifically negative ones  – i.e. pointing at various body parts and stating that I need to go to the gym, a frequent comment that escapes my mouth. I also want to refrain from remarking too much on the appearance of others.

How great would it be to have relationships that in no way involve how we look? Relationships that focus on our shared histories and stories, our sense of humor, our intelligence. Those are the relationships I want to surround myself with this year. That’s my new years resolution.

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Obligatory Resolutions 2013

1 Jan

I know. I know, another list of resolutions. You don’t have to read this. If you don’t give a shit, than don’t read. I know I wouldn’t, so no hard feelings.

I’ll preface this by saying; the odds of me starting all of my resolutions are 100%. The odds of me sticking to them are hovering around 10%. I am no different than any of you.

1.    Running- And Sticking to it

I like to consider myself a runner. But like most if not all of my resolutions, I have a hard time sticking to my running regime. I am good usually for like a solid two or three months. I get really intense, and really into it. Speed runs, and intervals twice a week. Long runs, up to 15 miles, on the weekends, and usually a couple lazy, easy runs mixed in there. But something always comes up, distracts me, and gets me off track. And let me just say, once you get off track from a nice running regime its hard to get back on.

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My big goal was to run a half marathon this spring. I was training pretty hard through the fall. And then I got distracted. Finals, finishing up undergrad, all became higher priorities. I have a plan to pick it all back up next week, but it is daunting as hell when I’ve been on a running vacation for the past two weeks. Oh well, here’s to half-marathon 2013!

2.    Reading- Like a Book a Week or Something

So, I haven’t fully hashed this one out. But I have already been off to a good start. Not that I can really base anything off this past week. I have been set up on my parent’s couch for the holiday with no responsibilities that has given me plenty of opportunity to read uninterrupted. I have however read three full books this week. Not a bad start if I do say so myself.

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I  have also joined three book clubs in New Orleans, hoping that they will keep me motivated to read some good books.

http://www.meetup.com/nolabc/

http://www.meetup.com/NOLA-boozenbooks/

http://www.maplestreetbookshop.com/pages/view/279/279/

I kind of wished more of these book groups were more female/feminist centered. Or that at least one of them was. Maybe I will start my own, but that feels like a lot of work. So I doubt I will. I can read on my own- maybe.

3.    Eat Less Junk Food

Haha. Hahahaha. Ha. Ha. Ha. I should just take this ridiculous bullshit off right now. My pizza and wine tastes far too good as I am writing this to even consider giving it up.

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4.    Staying Informed and Shit

My boyfriend complains that he spends too much time online reading articles. This in turn makes me feel like shit for spending too much time online- not reading articles. Facebook, Pinterest, Goodreads, etc. These soul sucking social media outlets take up far too much of my time. The internet really is a great place to learn and share information, its such a shame that I squander so much time on relative crap. So for this year I plan to read scholarly articles, subscribe to blogs and news outlets, and just in general keep myself up-to-date and a better-informed feminist. Here’s to hoping…

5.    Write a Blog

Look at me. Ahead of my game! Well, lets just see if I can keep this up.

6.    Figure Out What I am Doing with My Life

I think all of the above-mentioned numbers on this list will ultimately help me figure this one out. I can’t promise that this one will get accomplished, but in my pursuit of this goal I just hope to continue being happy and experiencing life in every possible way that I can.

My life is still relatively early formed. I am young. I entirely expect to live well into my 90’s, if not 100’s. So I am not in any rush to commit to one singular career. And honestly, I think that realizing this one thing has brought me closer to figuring out who I am and what I WANT to do with my life than anything else could have.

I plan on spending this next year exploring, eating, living, smelling, breathing, loving and hating life as much as I can. I have wonderful friends and people I love, and I live in an amazing city. I might not end the year with a career, but I will end it one step closer to knowing myself. That much I am sure of.

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